


Doctor's Orders

by TalysAlankil



Series: You Keep Using That Word [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, and gets hit a lot too, in which Will gets around a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4994839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalysAlankil/pseuds/TalysAlankil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Will said "Doctor's Orders" to coax Nico into hanging out with him, his friends thought it was cute. It didn't last long, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor's Orders

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CarpeDM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDM/gifts).



> Inspired by a comment by [CarpeDM](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDM).

"No more Underworld magic, got it? Doctor's orders!"

A smile bloomed on Nico's face, and Will felt proud for coming up with that phrase, because Nico ended up complying. He didn't put his life in danger anymore—though maybe that had to do with the Athena Parthenos being at camp and the rift between Greeks and Romans mended. Still, Will felt like he could claim some responsibility for this one.

* * *

"What you need right now is a kiss. True love's kiss. Heals all injuries."

"It's just a scratch, Will, I think it'll be f—"

"Doctor's orders!"

Nico barely flinched when Will kissed him. It was their first kiss, sure, but the whole "dating" thing had been more than official by now, even if they'd taken their time. Still, Will felt himself trembling a little against Nico, couldn't help but wonder if he'd pull away and reject Will. Apollo's children had the same luck in love as their father, most of the time, and Will had already misread signals more than a few times even at just fifteen.

But Nico kissed him back, pulled him closer. Everything was fine.

Until they pulled back.

"That was a really lame segue into kissing me, you know," Nico said. Was he teasing Will? Hard to tell—he was grinning, though that had probably to do with the kissing. Will was pretty sure he was smiling too.

He chose to take it as a tease. "You know you like me, really lame segues and all," he said.

* * *

Well, perhaps Nico didn't like the really lame segues after all.

To be fair, it was Will's initiative to break up. "Look, I know we've been pretty steady for three years now, but med schools are demanding and I need to make sure I have stellar grades while I'm in college if I want to get in."

Nico stared at him silently for a moment. "And your point is?" His inflexion was that of a question, but by the look on his face, Will was pretty sure he'd understood.

"I think we need to…take a break. Maybe even break up, because I don't want to force you to wait for me for years while I can't be there for you at all. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"And if I say I refuse? That I'm ready to give it a shot? To give _us_ a shot?"

"It's for your own good, Nico." He sighed, then inspiration struck. "Doctor's orders?"

He'd always known Nico was fast, but Will never saw Nico's fist coming. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor of cabin seven, too dazed to move, and Nico was walking out, not even bothering to check that he was fine.

* * *

Nico forgave him eventually, and they settled for being friends, at least until Will graduated. And then, if neither of them found someone…well, they could try again.

Thing was, though, there were a lot of _someones_ to find. For three years, Will had been pretty focused on his relationship with Nico, too much to realize the alarming volatility of his fellow demigods' relationship. And of their sexuality, it would appear. People at Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter—his friends, for the most part—broke up and got back together, exchanged partners, explored their limits.

He'd also failed to notice the looks he was getting. He'd filled in his lanky stature over the years, but while he had Nico, he'd never really paid attention to that—and everyone had apparently accepted that.

It took his first spring break after enrolling in college to realize it. He'd just arrived in New York, too late to go to Camp Half-Blood, and had stopped at a bar for the night, before stumbling upon a very inebriated Percy Jackson. And _damn_ did he look good—when had _that_ happened? And when had he started to look at Will with a knowing grin, eyes tracing Will's stature, settling on Will's lips, before biting his own? Why had that never turned Will on before?

Still, Percy had looked down before he'd noticed him, so Will ignored all of that. Being a good friend and doctor always came first. "You didn't look so good."

"Bad break-up. The usual. It's complicated."

"I'm sure it is. Want to talk about it?"

Percy chuckled. "No, it's fine, I'd rather not. Besides, I don't want to remind you of your own break-ups. I'd rather just move on." He cast Will a sidelong glance as he downed his drink in one go.

Will got the message. "Well, I'm sure you know the best way to do that is to move on to someone else."

"That was my plan coming here."

"Maybe _I_ could help."

"Not sure that's a good idea—"

"Yeah it is. It's my duty to help people."

"I just don't want it to be weird or anything. We go way back."

"Percy Jackson," Will said, creeping in closer and pressing himself against Percy's flank to whisper in his ear, "you're going to take me home, and we're not sleeping until you pass out and forget your ex's name. Doctor's orders."

Percy had looked about to give in…until those last words. At that point, he pulled back, casting Will a weirded-out glance. Then he started to laugh.

"Did I say something funny?"

"I'm sorry, that's just so _corny_." Will stared as Percy caught his breath. "Besides, wasn't that you and Nico's thing? I can't believe you used that on _me_."

"It just—came out, I guess. Sorry."

"It's fine. If you're volunteering as rebound, it's only fair that I return the favor. Does your offer still stand?"

* * *

The next day, when everyone gathered to Camp Half-Blood and Percy and Will arrived together, it didn't go unnoticed.

Specifically by Jason, who dragged Percy aside to the pool and started arguing with Percy—well, mostly, Jason was yelling. It took a moment for Will to realize Percy still hadn't told him who his ex _was_. Apparently he had his answer now.

And…maybe they needed some help figuring things out? This didn't look like a clean break-up to Will. He walked up to them. "Hey, Jason. Everything all right?"

"You fucked my boyfriend, so…what do you _think_?"

"I—thought you were broken up," Will said, eyeing Percy.

"Apparently I took our fight a little too seriously," Percy simply said, shrugging.

"Well—maybe you could just get even?" Will had no idea where that idea came from—though he was pretty sure that the angry rise and fall of Jason's chest, as scary as it was ridiculously sexy, was connected. "Sleep with me to get back at Percy?" Jason's unconvinced stare didn't stop him. "Or we could do something all together. I've read a study that showed including a third person was a great way to improve the strength of your relationship. It's just my medical opinion. You know, doctor's orders."

An unnaturally gust of wind caught him just then, and Will fell in the pool—which was still icy at this time of the year. By the time he broke the surface, he found Jason kneeling by the side of the pool. "You need to cool off, Solace. Stay away from my boyfriend. And you really shouldn't keep saying that. Nico told me how your breakup happened."

One last glare, and Jason was off, grabbing Percy along and leaving Will in the cold water.

* * *

He had no problem staying away from Percy—or Jason, for that matter, though he still felt interested. Camp Half-Blood was just suddenly too hot. Enough to make Will want to make all the pop music references.

Kayla was responsible for the first one. She and a few of the older Apollo campers had organized their private little contest of nude drawings. That required models, and they found a few volunteers—of course—in the Aphrodite cabin. Drinks were passed around, they found a location where the younger kids wouldn't stumble onto them, and the contest started.

Will had no idea who won, because the moment he turned in his drawing, his model stopped him. And—yeah, okay, he'd definitely noticed Piper McLean before. She was a daughter of Aphrodite, and their cabin counselor. It was kind of impossible _not_ to.

But Piper in a translucent silk bathrobe, holding two drinks and handing him one, that was definitely new. "I heard you got your freak on a little earlier than the rest of us."

Will shrugged. "I just happened upon Percy. Not my fault he thought he was broken up when he wasn't."

"Oh, I wasn't judging. I'm impressed. Few people manage to nail Percy Jackson, Twice Savior. I'm a little curious now."

"Is this what you were all doing for the past few years on spring break?" he couldn't help but ask.

"And summer vacation. Some of us over winter break, too. Well, unless we're in committed relationships, of course. But I've given up on that." Her ferocious grin was unequivocal. "So I'm wondering: why choose to draw _me_? A few of my brothers are choice pieces, if I say so myself. Why go for a girl?"

"Why not? You've got them all beat."

She smiled. "Just checking. I was never sure if you were exclusively on one team or not."

"Maybe you should help me figure that out once and for all."

"What if I don't want Percy's sloppy seconds?"

"If you think I'm damaged goods for sleeping with _Percy Jackson, Twice Savior_ before you, that is a serious medical condition and I'd be happy to help you treat it. Immediately. Doctor's orders."

Piper's hand flew, fast and strong enough to make Will spin on his heels and fall to his knees. "Is that the best you can do? Use the same strategy you used with your boyfriend when you were _fourteen_? On _me_? I think I'll pass, thanks."

* * *

Okay, Will had messed up with Piper, but that was one night. In the end, he still considered spring break quite the resounding success. Jason even took him aside at the end of the week, apologizing for his burst of anger, and suggesting to meet in New Rome over the summer break.

"You need to check out the baths in New Rome after midnight. That's where the fun _really_ happens. You'll see."

When summer came, however, someone got his attention long before he could even get to the baths. He'd never paid much attention to the praetor, Reyna. She was Nico's friend, but they usually liked to be alone with each other, and Will had respected that. So when he found her in her office, all he could think was _wow, Reyna's amazing_.

It happened by accident. Will arrived in New Rome, he checked in on her more out of politeness than anything else, and found her sighing over what appeared to be a massive stack of papers.

"Hey, Reyna. Just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Not as good as you, since Nico dumped you, from what I heard."

"Technically, I said we should—" He cut off when he noticed Reyna's glare. "Never mind. So what's up with you? That doesn't look like a lot of fun."

"Petitions. Every Senator has something to ask of me. Most of them know that I can't give in to their demands. It's just a waste of everyone's time—they look for a way to phrase it, I need to find the right words to refuse them, they rephrase it a little, rinse and repeat."

"I know what you need. A massage. Nothing better to relax. You can do that paperwork later with a clearer head. I'm sure I can help."

She raised an eyebrow. "You do realize Nico's told me about your massages and how they never ended in _relaxation_ , right?"

He paused, briefly taken aback—mostly because _no_ , he hadn't realized that. "Well…that would help too. You need to take your mind off these things. Even if it's not with me, though I _am_ definitely offering. Doctor's orders."

Reyna's stare turned a few degrees colder, and she whistled.

Will frowned at her. "Was that a yes? Or are you trying to deafen me? Because if so, I should show you how it's done."

Before he could try to show Reyna his patented taxi cab whistle, a metal hound was tackling him to the floor from behind. "That was a no," Reyna said without bothering to stand up. "Now get out of here."

* * *

After that, he wasn't even in the mood to try out the Roman baths that night.

The next night, he did try. And didn't stay.

"Dude, you tried to sleep with our praetor. And you used the same line you used on your ex. Who's one of her best friends. Not cool. Not cool at all."

And so he was tossed out, after having seen enough of the action to be painfully hard in his pants with no outlet for it.

"Need a hand with that?"

Will wasn't really startled when his father, Lord Apollo, materialized right next to him, one hand on Will's shoulder and the other on Will's stomach, just waiting to travel further down the moment Will accepted. Probably because it was the fourth time this happened since spring break. Will had gotten lonely while he was back in college, and his godly father had come to offer him relief.

This was the first time Will was actually horny, though—making the offer a little more tempting than usual. "I—I don't know. I mean, it still seems pretty wrong to me."

"You just want me to seduce you, don't you?" He hummed softly, then nuzzled against Will's ears, whispering:

" _I know what you need_

_You'll thank me in the morning_

_Come on, Will, let's fuck._ "

"A _haiku_?" Will backed off, pushing the god away in the same move.

"Aw, come on, we all have our techniques. Are you really saying you're not turned on by my amazing poetic skills?"

"No." It seemed to have killed his boner, actually. He scoffed, and turned away, walking back to his apartment. Surprisingly, Apollo didn't chase after him until he turned into a tree or some nonsense like that. Maybe he respected his own children's boundaries a little more than other people's.

Apollo's words came back to him in a dream that night, though. "We all have our techniques." And Will did too, didn't he?

* * *

That morning, when he got up, the first thing he did was grab his phone and send a group text. To Percy, and Jason, and Piper, and Reyna—and Nico, too.

_I'm so sorry I've kept using that line on all of you. I'm awful._

No wonder children of Apollo were unlucky in love. They had to fight against the worst genetics.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I really do think we need to stop with "Doctor's Orders". It stopped being funny about a week after BoO was released. Stop beating that dead horse.


End file.
